“All I wanted was a rent controlled apartment WITHOUT the levitating demons and vile spewing spirits,” the terrified actress whispers while contorting herself into a pretzel under the Donna Karan bedding she bought thinking this would be the place she’d have fabulous dinner parties and impromptu barbecues.
It’s a strange thing—worry. That amidst the daily glorious manifestations of stunning beauty and mystery there is an underlying longing to understand the color of the sunset and just slightly beneath that feeling is the slightest pang of unrightness, the tiniest fear of ongoing angst.
How is it that I can’t shake myself when I am so often trying to mend myself?
And all the while there is the sky. And the mountains and ocean and people scurrying here and there with, I suppose (assume?) burdens much larger or just as large as mine. It’s the stepping outside myself, just beside myself, observing myself that shines a light on the lovely circus it all amounts to. My confusion around being joined and being separate. My constant wonder at the depth of patience I have with myself, rarely. My assumption that I am the only one who is doing this all wrong.
But when I step back from my own lovingly packed drama lunch I am able to say, “Look at the majestic sky. Look at that miraculous color of orange. Look at how it all smushes together to make you go ‘Wow’” And then I know there must be hope for me.
Yours In Lessening the Grrrrr,
Sometimes on Saturday, after a short bout with the runs and a tummy ache that threatened our ability to sleep as soundly as a sedated possum like we usually do, we like to celebrate our full recovery with a short cheerleading routine, wearing our favorite cheerleading hat, regardless of the fact that the team we’re cheering for has gone straight into the crapper.
Gimme an L! Gimme an O! Gimme an S! Gimme an E! What’s that spell?
A general feeling of undeserved vibrancy should last through midweek, at which time the vibrancy will feel much deserved. The way the light telegraphs holy spirits through the trees may or may not affect the jet stream, however that feeling that things are starting to go your way will continue to blow onshore, especially while you’re napping.
Back To You In the Studio