Saddled with a case of anal bug bites and struggling to survive in the 150 degree heat while his partner sleeps away a case of sudden onset malaria, the determined reality show contestant uses his survival skills to construct a lean-to with one branch and a piece of string.
There might be one day when you wake up and you think that it is a good idea to prance on down to your local grocery store sporting your bicycle shorts with the butt padding coupled with a pair of pumps and, although your energy decision is to be upbeat and friendly and seemingly a distraction that you are wearing bicycle pants and pumps, it won’t matter because you made the last minute decision to pair your pumps with sport socks. You see, this only frightens people and makes them doubt your sanity, as you load your coconut milk and peppered salami on the conveyor belt ready for purchase. Not only that, when you ask the check out person where you might find the Suave #8 hairspray because you’d like to purchase a case, it simply adds to your weirdness and makes us all left to our own devices wondering how on earth we should even try to maintain an ounce of eye contact with you.
Stay Away From the Cray-Cray,
Bedelia Better Safe Than Sorry
I careen around corners with reckless abandon and boundless hope. Hurtling headlong into something gorgeous or something horrifying, I keep my foot on the petal, anxious to see what’s around the bend. How is it that I haven’t flown off a cliff up until this point? How is it that I’ve kept my bearings long enough to arrive, semi-unsettled, at the point where I had envisioned myself being? I’ll never know the formula that keeps me forging forward. I just know that I catapult, sweetly, toward what I imagine will help me be more me, regardless of my endless and furious doubt that accompanies me along my lively journey.
Keep Your Eyes On the Road,
Serena of the Steely Fingered Steering Wheel Graspers
Sometimes on Saturday, after an afternoon into an evening and then another afternoon that our Dad is embroiled with several workers trying to install an elaborate new surround sound musical system that involves ladders and wires and drills and cursing, we like to escape to the quiet retreat that is the upstairs bedroom and partially cover our head with a blanket until the whole ghastly nightmare is over.
Yours In 8-Track Cassette Players,
Orville Old Fashioned
Oh, hello Mister and Missus Stalwart. How lovely of you to be the frame that encompasses your gorgeous surroundings, along with your wee children. If I ever doubt that something can be as lovely as you, standing your ground while making the rest of everything near you more gorgeous I will remind myself of your beauty.
Thanks In Advance For Your Loveliness,
Tina the Trunk Admirer