Cooper Being Sylvester Stallone in Cliffhanger

Edmund“Come on, grab my hand, it’ll be fine,” he says to his co-star, moments before she plummets nine million stories to her death.

Things That Are Easier Than Trying To Understand How To Play Pokemon Go When You Barely Even Know What Pokemon Is and You Hate Video Games, Cartoons and Technology

1. Teaching a baby how to fold a fitted sheet
2. Knitting a queen-size afghan using only your ears
3. Rollerskating up the Great Pyramid
4. Domesticating a howler monkey
5. Convincing Oprah that Gayle is a crappy best friend

What I Tell Myself

SitBitJust close your eyes and sit for a bit.

Saturday SlobberLove

morningboysSometimes on Saturday, after we team up with our short man sibling and successfully harangue our mother into taking us on a 6 AM romp in the park, we like to spend the rest of the morning relaxing in bed, processing the fact that we will never have purely one-on-one snuggles again. And we’re kind of okay with that.

Things I Don’t Understand, Items 939 thru 941

939. Why I always forget to wear my hazmat suit when I dice jalapenos
940. Canopy beds
941. Those storage bag things that have a hose attached to them that suck all the air out and smash your entire wardrobe and all your towels into one inch