Cupcake Murphy has a heart-shaped rock collection the size of Wyoming however she lives in Santa Monica, California. She grew up in The San Fernando Valley in Southern California which makes her an actual (not fake) bonafide Valley Girl and her skin has the sun damage to prove it. Especially her poor neck. Both her parents were lunatic alcoholics but whose weren’t? She wrote this snippet about herself.
Cupcake holds a Masters degree in compulsive disaster hell worry brain and a Doctorate in giving herself pep talks. She looks at the world as a magnificent, interesting garden full of glorious flowers however she also fears that the person behind her in line at Trader Joe’s is toting a bomb. She’s a thinker. She thinks a LOT. Like, how a philosopher thinks except with a little more neurotic oomph. And, as mentioned previously, she is a champion worrier who is well aware that worrying is no way to make friends and influence people. As a matter of fact, if she wrote a book about worrying it would be called How To Stop Your Fucking Worrying Before You Alienate Everyone You Know and it would be accompanied by the helpful primer Keep Your Worrying To Yourself You Fool! Do You Want To Die Alone?
Interestingly, Cupcake’s husband is NOT a worrier. In fact he rarely, if ever, worries. What would you call that? Worry free? Cupcake likes to call that alien but what does she know? Actually, maybe he worries sometimes that Cupcake will fret herself straight into a loony bin but then he remembers that Cupcake is too worried about going to a loony bin to actually get thrown in one. Mister Cupcake also grew up in The Valley so despite their different dispositions they have a bond that holds them together as if they were Beyonce and Jay-Z. Why is this little snippet about Cupcake Murphy suddenly about her marriage and is Cupcake trying to get a gold medal for using the word “worry” the most times ever in one sitting? Who the hell knows. It’s like she’s high on writing about herself in the third person.
In conclusion, let’s just say that The Cupcakes have a marvelously good time most of the time being madcap lovebirds who watch Netflix On Demand until their eyes bleed regardless of the Worry Full-Time vs. Worry No-Time issue but mainly Cupcake would like to thank the Academy.