Talk louder. I can’t hear you over that puka shell necklace you’re wearing.
All posts in Monday Judgements & Warnings
Word To the Wise: If you’re going to share an Anyone-Who-Isn’t-Vegan-Is-Evil parable while you’re standing in line at Whole Foods, you might want to rethink that bright blue leather Boho Jimmy Choo handbag you have slung over your shoulder.
Thanks For Nothing,
The Malarkey Squad
Dumbo Alert: one ponchy middle aged man, wearing short shorts and a confederate flag t-shirt, explaining to his fellow gas station patrons that his dislike of MLK Day is grounded in the fact that Martin Luther King, Jr. wasn’t a real doctor.
You’re Under Arrest,
Not that I’m an expert on the afterlife or anything, but if you are in your car at a stop light waiting to make a right turn on a red light and a lovely mommy pushing her lovely baby in a stroller is trying to cross the street in front of you and you gun your freakishly red Mustang motor and challenge her to a game of chicken, making the lovely baby cry and the lovely mother jump out of her skin, I’m quite certain that you’re on the short list to go straight to hell where you will live your life as a legless hamster.
Assfaces Are as Assfaces Do,
Tammy Traffic Cop