Struggle Stew
9 lbs. Doubt, cubed and trimmed of fat
85 ozs. Let’s Move Out Of State Where We Will Be Born Anew, minced
salt, gallons, vats, cilos; whatever you think will help
1/2 ounce Walden Pond
1/4 tsp. stupid I AM LOVE affirmations you disagree with
1 gallon, Freshly Minced Hope and Determination that fades with time
Dollop of Oh Fer Chriminy Sakes Alive How’s This All Work, minced
pepper to taste
Generalized Anxiety Panini
Servings: Not sure
Ingredients:
5 cups organic gloom
9 lbs. mild anguish, sliced
7 tons blah, cut into two-inch cubes
3 cans wild lady crazed brain (preferably low-sodium)
2 packages frozen jumpy, thawed
1 loaf whole wheat hopeless, day old
1/2 tsp. dread
1/2 tsp. worry
Shallow breathing and unexpressed fury to taste
Uncomfortable Afternoon Stew
Servings: 1
Ingredients:
2 lbs. surprise Bible Verse references, rinsed and finely chopped
1 “Happy Hump Day!!!” greeting, flattened with rolling pin or meat mallet
4 cups Scowly Mad Face
9 gallons freshly brewed doubt
2 tsp. fried brain feeling, minced
2 tsp. jumpy yuck nervousness, minced
fear and wonder to taste
Depresso Zombie Day Casserole
Servings: Unknown
Ingredients:
11 boxes Kleenex
56 cups, ghostly “where’s the outside world?” thoughts
9 tons Food Network Channel
2 boxes Tylenol Cold
890 glasses of water
Some days just go straight into the crapper.
Difficult Crap Day Muffins
Servings: Anywhere from 400 to 10
Ingredients:
67 cups, worried weasel monkey thoughts, sliced
1 pound of dread, cut in 2 inch cubes
2 tablespoons catastrophic weirdo story lines, minced and set aside
1 15 ounce can anxiety flakes, rolled in lard
6 cans of unwieldy occupation with how unfair things are
seething anger & hate to taste
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