All posts in Recipes

Ornery Au Gratin Recipe

Ornery Au Gratin

15 lbs. shrugged forehead face, julienned
1/2 cup, whatever
8 sprigs, fresh scrunched mouth, chopped
1 loaf, No Way, brined in Know-It-All-ness and left to soak overnight
3 cups, shrugged shoulders, trimmed of fat
salt and pepper to taste
Let cool for 2 weeks before serving

Struggle Stew Recipe

Struggle Stew

9 lbs. Doubt, cubed and trimmed of fat
85 ozs. Let’s Move Out Of State Where We Will Be Born Anew, minced
salt, gallons, vats, cilos; whatever you think will help
1/2 ounce Walden Pond
1/4 tsp. stupid I AM LOVE affirmations you disagree with
1 gallon, Freshly Minced Hope and Determination that fades with time
Dollop of Oh Fer Chriminy Sakes Alive How’s This All Work, minced
pepper to taste

Generalized Anxiety Panini Recipe

Generalized Anxiety Panini

Servings: Not sure

Ingredients:

5 cups organic gloom
9 lbs. mild anguish, sliced
7 tons blah, cut into two-inch cubes
3 cans wild lady crazed brain (preferably low-sodium)
2 packages frozen jumpy, thawed
1 loaf whole wheat hopeless, day old
1/2 tsp. dread
1/2 tsp. worry
Shallow breathing and unexpressed fury to taste

Uncomfortable Afternoon Stew Recipe

Uncomfortable Afternoon Stew

Servings: 1

Ingredients:

2 lbs. surprise Bible Verse references, rinsed and finely chopped
1 “Happy Hump Day!!!” greeting, flattened with rolling pin or meat mallet
4 cups Scowly Mad Face
9 gallons freshly brewed doubt
2 tsp. fried brain feeling, minced
2 tsp. jumpy yuck nervousness, minced
fear and wonder to taste

Depresso Zombie Day Casserole Recipe

Depresso Zombie Day Casserole

Servings: Unknown

Ingredients:

11 boxes Kleenex
56 cups, ghostly “where’s the outside world?” thoughts
9 tons Food Network Channel
2 boxes Tylenol Cold
890 glasses of water

Some days just go straight into the crapper.