Sometimes on Saturday, after we’ve walked in the morning fog, done our bowel movement business like a champ and peed on every tree, weed and bush that exists within a two mile radius of our house, we like to commune with our beloved Froggy while our mother and father tool around the house, doing those random weekend tasks that somehow make us feel so much at home.
Yours In Cozy,
Mister Master Comfortable
Sometimes on Saturday, after a break-of-dawn skirmish with a dragonfly that screeches out of nowhere and tries to fly up our nostrils, we like to take it easy for the rest of the afternoon inside where we try to believe our mother as she assures us that nothing that awful will ever happen to us again.
Sometimes on Saturday, after an exhausting morning spent roasting in the sun, we like to spend the afternoon indoors, taunting anyone who will look at us with an invitation to a game of I’ll Never Let Go Of Sharkey.
Yours In Total Victory,
Sometimes on Saturday, after an unexpected Mother vs Moth battle that ends with our Mother being victorious, we like to have a special Valentine’s Day stare-a-thon, in order to convey to her that we couldn’t, wouldn’t shouldn’t ever have to live without her.
Sometimes on Saturday, after we’ve witnessed our father watch 72 hours of non-stop Super Bowl coverage, we like to showcase some football skills of our own, impressing our parents with the speed and agility we exhibit when we catch and hurl Sharkey fifty feet into the goddamn air.
Tom Brady Who?,
Gary Go Long