Sometimes on Saturday, after we have a stressful, busy morning keeping an eye on the plumber making every upsetting noise known to man just outside our window, we finally listen to our mother after she tells us for the nine millionth time that there is nothing to worry about and to please shut our gob and we take a very small break from all our hysterical barking and we plop down on our observance perch on the couch where we switch to grumbled woofs and groofs and froofs just to make sure that everyone knows that, as god is our witness, there may be danger afoot.
A Human May Work From Sun to Sun But a Beagle Mix’s Work Is Never Done,
William the Wayward Security Guard
Sometimes on Saturday, after our mother has been reunited with her computer for the first time in a week, we like to keep our distance just a bit while she swoons and weeps over the machine that seems to bring her such joy. And as we watch her face light up like the Empire State Building at Christmas we realize that we have that much more in common with her than we thought because when we zero in on her mile-wide smile she reminds us of our expression when we are about to devour a Greenie.
Who Says the Best Things In Life Aren’t Things?
Marvin the Materialistic Man Dog
Sometimes on Saturday, after an earthquake rattles our precious homestead, we take it upon ourselves to swing into Full Emergency Alert by surveilling our parents to make sure they’re still in one piece, inspecting our toys to assure that all of them are operating at optimum capacity and sniffing every nook and cranny of the house, just in case the shaking monster is lurking just outside the door so we can make preparations for defeating the enigmatic beast.
Paul the Protective Pooch
Sometimes on Saturday, after our peaceful morning is interrupted by a spider crawling on the ceiling that is the size of Nebraska, we like to keep a cautious eye out and stay close to our mother—the one who bravely slayed the terrifying beast—just in case there are others where the original arachnid came from.
Itsy Bitsy My Ass,
Saul the Skeptic
Sometimes on Saturday, after a morning spent lounging around in bed, we like to take our cuddle time to the limit and practice different no-bones relaxation positions with our body while our mother watches early morning television and we just lay there, being lazy and in heaven, waiting for the day to begin.
Let It All Hang Out,