All posts in The Snazzpants Report

When it comes to Snazz Fuel, there is nothing that gets my engine running more than notebooks.  And, since I am filled with Snazzitude for these colorful, useful, columned, wide ruled, pocketed and not pocketed books of PURE SNAZZ-O-TASTIC MAGIC I like to just go and be among them, soaking up their SNAZZNESS marveling at all their clean, blank pages waiting to be filled with everything everyone on earth has to say.

SNAZZPANTS RULE #7: NUTHIN’ TOO DUMB TO WORSHIP

Signing off from the journal aisle,
Susie Staples

Snazzpants here.  Hey, have you ever noticed how Green Beans resemble emerald jewels?  I have.  As a matter of fact, I am so Snazzy that I bring home hoards of precious Green Been Cargo again and again and I display them on the counter as if they are my own lanky angels and then I whisper “I’ll never love cauliflower as much as I love you,” into their tiny Green Bean ears.

Snazzpants Rule #6:   Let a Little Lunatic Love Into Your Life

Ok, hold on to your Snazzbelt because what I’m about to share with you just might change your definition of Snazz-a-matastic.

This is what happens:  I get my 80 gallon barn silo of lotion when Jimmy Carter was President and I use it and I use it and I use it.  And then, many decades later, after high waisted jeans are once again back in fashion, I think, Oh I guess I should go buy another small building of lotion in order to keep my skin soft and supple until the next Super Moon.

But then I become Saver Snazzinator and I upend my existing lotion container and I shake it violently every time I use it so that I am able to squeeze approximately twelve more years worth of moisturizer out of what seemed to be an empty vessel back when the buffalo roamed the prairies thereby disproving the old adage Nothing Lasts Forever and when I am able to do this I think Well done, Snazzpants, well done.

Snazzpants Rule #5: Stretch Your Happy.

It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over,
Eudora Endless

The World Class Snazz I exude when I cook propels me into another Snazz dimension.  It’s like I become Chef Snazzalot, what with my cookbooks and non-stick skillets and tongs and smoked sea salt and panko crumbs and mandolin and Cuisinart Food Processor and creme fraiche.

I’m all SNAZZ CIRCUS IN ACTION when I storm the store and select some lavender hued organic garlic and fingerling potatoes that seem to match as if they were in some outrageous Georgia O’Keefe painting, and when this happens and I’m all Sergeant Snazzy Saute-i-nator, I step back for a moment and I think Well Done, Snazzpants, well done.

Snazzpants Rule #4: Go Out There and Make Some WOOHOO!

Back To You In the Studio,
Chef Cupcake

I hope you have your seat belt on because the amount of Snazzaroo I am about to lay on you will probably give you whiplash. I mean, I am talkin’, once you dig the scene of my Super Sonic Snazz Jam I got goin’ on over here in Snazzville you might gonna wanna buckle up.

Here’s what I do when I am pure Snazz in Action:

When I discover that they finally have fresh, magical-fairy-face LILACS at Whole Foods I grab several bunches of them and I lurch to the checkout counter in full Snazzy Sniff mode and as the checker person rings up The Snazzlacs I watch her face as she gets a whiff of them and then I smile REALLY BIG and I wipe the drool from my chin and I give out a little Hauahhauahhhau! like an overexcited toddler that gets so excited it becomes scary for others around them and then after I’ve spent approximately seven thousand dollars on my sweet smelling beloveds I RACE home and I assemble a bouquet that would be fit for Ina Garten and just when I think the Snazz can’t get any Snazzier I make a teensy bouquet from the big bouquet as if the big bouquet has given birth and I stand back and sniff and stare and I get woozy from the aroma and I think Well done, Snazzpants, well done.

Snazzpants Rule #3:   Do it up.

Back to you in the studio,
Correspondent Cupcake