All posts in To-Do Lists

To-Do List: Fruit Fly

Hi. I’m a Fruit Fly and here is my To-Do List:

1. Wake up and stretch, wonder if I’ll always be so hyper
2. Practice dive-bomb speed, shape shift agility and nostril penetration
3. Google Map Quest for directions to cocktail party near $14.99/lb Whole Foods peaches in kitchen
4. Attend Minuscule Insect Forum; get tickets for “Be an 1/8 of an Inch—Be an Annoying Powerful Crazy Maker” lecture
5. Purchase xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx small helmet from CostCo

To-Do List: Tupperware Lid

Hi.  I’m a Tupperware Lid and here is my To-Do List:

1.  Wake up and change positions; find the nearest corner to get wedged in
2.  Attend Top Five Thousand Habits Of Highly Annoying Things workshop in the spice drawer
3.  Find and make amends with the magenta Ziploc top I called a two bit whore
4.  Work on shape shifting in preparation for any dumb, pie in the sky attempts at organization (practice resistance posture!)
5.  Finish final draft of memoir, Lids Who Run With the Wolves: Reclaiming Joy Inside a Drawer

To-Do List: Your Bangs

Hi.  I’m Your Bangs and this is my To-Do list:

1. Wake up and be unruly; make sure everyone is facing in different directions
2. Prepare for group imitation of water buffalo (***Morning rehearsal starts at 6 AM sharp, prior to owner’s first mirror viewing)
3. Carve out some quiet time; finish reading novel Wispy Like Me
4. Outside the Forehead Think Tank!—brainstorm ideas for leading a happy life despite a really bad cowlick
5. Vaguely loiter in owner’s eyes; listen for new curse words

To-Do List: Aged Balsamic Vinegar

Hi. I’m Aged Balsamic Vinegar and here is my To-Do List:

1. Wake up, ooze velvety goodness
2. Work on latest edits of memoir, “On Being 100% Magical”
3. Gird loins for hysterical stampede from latest first time tasters screaming YOU ARE THE MOST DELICIOUS THING I HAVE EVER TASTED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE AND I’VE TASTED A LOT OF DELICIOUS THINGS LIKE PIZZA IN NAPLES AND BENIETS IN NEW ORLEANS BUT NOTHING IS MORE DELICIOUSER THAN YOU!
4. Choose outfit for “You’re Lucky I Don’t Cost 45 Million Dollars” lecture at Whole Foods
5. Practice marriage proposal refusals

To-Do List: Sunflower

Hi. I’m a Sunflower and here is my To-Do List:

1. Wake up, practice Happy Round Ruffle Face in the mirror
2. Purchase wire for wilty neck muscles
3. Attend the Are Your Petals As Fanned As They Could Be? lecture at The Sunflower Institute
4. Submit curriculum vitae to florist for upcoming Simon-Berman wedding, prepare for “Peonies-Roses-Gardenias Only” rejection letter
5. Finish reading Yellow Like Me