Cooper Being The Alien in Alien

You might think that you’re safe, all locked up in the privacy of your own bathtub—BUT YOU BETTER THINK AGAIN—because there is an alien monster as fucked up and disconnected as Ann Romney with eyes the color of EEEEEEEEEEEYA! that is crouched under the nearest sofa and whose only goal is to burrow itself into your abdomen and then just when you’re having your enlightenment acai berry breakfast smoothie it will EXPLODE out of the middle of your tummy and peck your eyes out like those skanky hate birds in that upsetting old homeless lady scene in Mary Poppins.

5 Comments on "Cooper Being The Alien in Alien"

  1. The Zadge says:

    Really? You expect a comment after *that* brilliance? Which includes my favorite word ever, the F Bomb? I bow to you, ‘Cake.

  2. PJ says:

    Ditto, Zadge.

    Alien Cooper is every bit as terrifying as those shit weasel things in that Stephen King novel that if you haven’t read it, don’t.

    My breakfast smoothie was banana raspberry and I do not feel enlightened, so I consider myself safe. For today.

  3. The Farmer says:

    I can’t wait to call someone a skanky hate bird today.

  4. MidLyfeMama says:

    That bird lady IS disturbing.