Friday Explanation

As you may or may not know, I Cupcake, am a dutiful student of the universe and I often spend my days searching tirelessly for answers to all of life’s questions and, even though, most of the time I come up short and end up wrapped in yet another irresistible cozy throw from West Elm nibbling on Newman’s Own Ginger Snap Cremes, you can bet your bottom dollar that I am a resilient anthropologist and so this evening I am here to share my latest, much sought after, explanation regarding:


1. Because if you have a penis that doesn’t work properly and then suddenly it starts working overly properly, things can get messy fast!

2. Postmenopausal women like to take baths and postmenopausal women are sometimes like Patton, so if a postmenopausal woman wants to take a bath and she “asks” her husband to take a bath too, well, let’s just say they both end up taking baths.

3. Being in a bathtub while holding your lover’s hand in the middle of a daffodil field overlooking a bison ranch is about as spiritual and romantic as it gets if you still wear Lee jeans.

4. In Roman times, sitting in your own filth was known as Afterplay.

5. Yo-YO-Yo: Arthritic hips that be grindin’ be need’n some soak’n in Epsom Salts, Muthafuckahs.

We Be Real, We Be Questionin’,
Thelma Thinker

3 Comments on "Friday Explanation"

  1. The Zadge says:

    I think Fiddy Cent may be knockin’ on you muthafucka door soon.

  2. Did Common come a callin’ Friday? Number five resonates, but it ain’t from grindin’. It’s from being old.

  3. PJ says:

    Oh, so the bathtub scene is the postlude. I thought it was the prelude and that made no sense at all.