Horsey Says…

HorseyHi, I’m Horsey and I wanted to bring your attention to a Tampon commercial on TV that involves a hefty, smiling lady dancing around to some music that sounds like a song the Isley Brothers would make if they were all stuffed into an Iron Lung. She dances around and acts unbelievably happy about having a tampon in and then another woman comes on the TV and does this whole simulation that shows what happens to the tampon inside dancing lady’s body when it twists like a pretzel.

You might ask yourself, WHY SO MUCH GODDAMN TWISTING? I MAY TWIST LIKE THAT ONE TIME IN THE WHOLE OF MY LIFE.

But dancing lady be happy with the twistin’—-as a matter of fact she’s in her bathrobe now twistin’ and grinnin’ and doin’ the bump.

And Horsey has something to say about this whole predicament, this whole commercial:

HORSEY SAYS “WHO, WHAT WHERE AND MOST OF ALL WHY?” ABOUT THIS COMMERCIAL. AND THEN HORSEY EATS SOME HAY AND GOES TO SLEEP.

Giddy Up,
Horsey

8 Comments on "Horsey Says…"

  1. PJ says:

    Are you the horsey from the Colorado camp ground and why are you so visually disturbing because I love horsies.

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      Yes! Horsey lives in Colorado and never leaves the backyard of a lovely cabin by the river except Horsey can’t see the river because it is behind him and he can only face one direction.

  2. Dear Horsey,
    I would take my tampon out every time I had to pee until someone hipped me that the tampon canal and the pee spritzer were two different places.
    Signed,
    My Mom Didn’t Tell Me Sh*t

  3. claudia w says:

    Um…pardon me for asking you kind Horsey, but why are you watching tampon commercials? Shouldn’t you be like watching reruns of the Ponderosa or Wyatt Earp or something like that?

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      Horsey only watches the television through the window of the cabin that he is sitting forever outside of. And I mean, like, forever.

  4. PJ says:

    Dear Horsey,

    Are you related to Francis the Talking Mule? Or Donald Duck, given your lower mouth part? Or did you spring straight from Zeus’ forehead?

    Wonderingly,
    Curious

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      Dear Curious,
      I am related to none of the creatures you mention, however, I am the second cousin of Ethel Merman. Can you see the resemblance?
      Best Wishes For Your Continued Success,
      Horsey

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