Hi, I’m Horsey and I wanted to bring your attention to a Tampon commercial on TV that involves a hefty, smiling lady dancing around to some music that sounds like a song the Isley Brothers would make if they were all stuffed into an Iron Lung. She dances around and acts unbelievably happy about having a tampon in and then another woman comes on the TV and does this whole simulation that shows what happens to the tampon inside dancing lady’s body when it twists like a pretzel.
You might ask yourself, WHY SO MUCH GODDAMN TWISTING? I MAY TWIST LIKE THAT ONE TIME IN THE WHOLE OF MY LIFE.
But dancing lady be happy with the twistin’—-as a matter of fact she’s in her bathrobe now twistin’ and grinnin’ and doin’ the bump.
And Horsey has something to say about this whole predicament, this whole commercial:
HORSEY SAYS “WHO, WHAT WHERE AND MOST OF ALL WHY?” ABOUT THIS COMMERCIAL. AND THEN HORSEY EATS SOME HAY AND GOES TO SLEEP.