Horsey Says…

HorseyHi, I’m Horsey.  Although I have no eyelashes, I have enormous nostrils and I think this makes up for things.  I’m not conceited, like other horses.  As a matter of fact, I am extremely wise and grounded, due to the fact that I have metal rods drilled into the sides of my neck and my buttocks.  I can’t gallop but I can, however, wear my hair like John Travolta in Grease. So I’ve got that going for me.

I have a lot on my mind and I have a lot to say. For instance, this afternoon, on the news the newscaster was advising everyone about things to avoid doing during the current heat wave. He said to stay indoors (If I could move I could live with that), wear loose clothing (no big whoop), and AVOID ALCOHOL. When I heard that last detail I thought, “What a bunch of horse shit” — there is not a chance in hell that Horsey will forego his evening gin martini. Gin keeps Horsey going and he wants you to know that you shouldn’t believe everything you hear on the news, especially when it comes to avoiding a nice tall glass of Pinot.

Horsey says: if anything will put a hitch in one’s giddy up, it’s a lack of vino so keep on keepin’ on pardners, and don’t listen to those horses asses on the evening news.

Giddy Up,
Horsey

9 Comments on "Horsey Says…"

  1. Galloping Ghosts! What kinda news are you watchin’ over there, Pard? Give up my evenin’ slosh of vodka? Not a chance. And I’m feelin’ just fine, even though it got to 114 here today! Yee-haw!

  2. The Zadge says:

    Horsey and I would get along very well. Should I pick him up some false eyelashes next time I’m in Sephora?

  3. The Farmer says:

    Now I’m going to have nightmares.

  4. MidLyfeMama says:

    Horsey is wise, even if his nostrils are unnaturally red.