Monday Judgements and Warnings

Hello.  I’m glad you could join me this evening.  I am looking forward to reading aloud that which I have written.  Pssst! I’ve written a lot!  HA! HA! HA! HA!  Whew! So, as I was saying…sorry for that little outburst, I just get JOY-FILLED when I read my JOY-FULL WORDS to JOY-FUELED PEOPLE. Get it!?  HA! HA! HA! Excuse me while I adjust my scarves.  I like scarves, don’t you?

Okay so it looks like we are ready to start.  Are we ready to start? I guess not.  It looks like some of you are still chatting and ignoring the CEASE ALL CROSS TALK AS SOON AS THE READER STARTS SHARING sign.  It’s okay, it’s okay, I’ll wait. But not for long because I know my time is valuable.  AS AM I.  I am INVALUABLE. By the way, while we wait for those selfish people to finish up their diatribe about The Kind Diet, let me just go over some “housekeeping” details.  HAHAHA!  Housekeeping.  So funny.  Yes!  So, if you’d like to put your scarf somewhere other than your neck, we have scarf hangers throughout the facility on every wall and in every nook and cranny so please take advantage of those.  BUT ONLY IF YOU WANT TO.  It’s your scarf and it’s your life.  Are we done?  Yes, it looks like we’re done back there so I will start.

The poem I am about to read was written during a time in my life when I was struggling.  I’m not afraid to admit it.  Yes. I struggled.  SO WHAT? Who cares.  I struggled, yes, and I said it.  So screw you.  Screw you if you can’t understand that and screw you if you think I don’t deserve to read my poem.  MY poem I wrote while I was struggling. Okay, so, here I go.  I’m going to read my poem.  I wrote it in the midst of struggle, like I said.  Here it is.  It’s called Big Mouth Scary. I will perform this, in the nude , while wearing a large top hat.

Big Mouth Scary

With your big mouth scary
Scary like big scary
With your LARGE picket fence teeth
Not pretty, green front lawn picket fence
But, like, Alfred Hitchcock picket fence
Or Piper Laurie in Carrie picket fence
That kind of negative picket fence
Your big mouth scary
You make my tummy ache

Thank you for coming. Please wait for several minutes while I bow. Wait. Wait. Wait. Just a sec more. Still bowing. Okaaaaayyyyyyyy…Now! You may retrieve your scarves and exit to the left OR you may proceed through the door on the right where there will be a fire walk to honor the part of you that feels fearful of Florence from Florence and the Machine.

Very Severely Yours,
Pam the Performance Artist

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