Monday Judgements and Warnings

Not to be a downer but if you’re in a cleaning trance and you happen to swoop up a helpless hysterical spider that is in the wrong place at the wrong time and you attempt to rationalize your murderous act in the name of sparkly floors please be aware that THINGS WILL GO SOUTH FAST because although you may tell yourself Oh, I am innocent I am not a spider assassin I am only caught up in my Pre-Vacuuming-Swiffer-Preparation-Fervor  you should THINK AGAIN, KILLER because spiders are known to be VERY POPULAR and if one of them is slain unjustly the rest of their grieving spider friends will come after you in the dark of night and paw at your nostrils with their little spider appendages until you perish.

Stop Pretending Like You Do Not Know,
Her Holiness Ariel Arachnid
Imperial Empress
Intergalactic Tarantula Counsel


6 Comments on "Monday Judgements and Warnings"

  1. candace says:

    Finally! It is such a relief to have someone speak the truth!

  2. The Zadge says:

    That’s why I hire Lorenza, the cleaning lady. They’ll invade her ‘strils, not mine.

  3. LT says:

    Please tell me that ticks are NOT POPULAR, even amongst their own. My guess is that even ticks are grossed out by ticks.

  4. buggy says:

    Let the spiders go! Bad luck to kill a spider.

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      It is worse luck to be eaten alive by a pack of vengeful spiders and it is even WORSE luck to have grimy floors. (bad for your clean tootsies)