You can try to fool yourself about being a kind of nice person that’s going to breeze into heaven like Beyonce but, in the end, there will be a PANEL OF PEOPLE with the sole purpose of judging your Good Deedness and Open Heartedness and How Often You Recycled AND ACTUALLY LIKED ITness and you can think Oh, Oh, Ok Wait! Lemme See, Ok, I think I’m good! I think I got this covered! but let me to tell you that you would be 250% VERY WRONG about this particular end of life equation because on the Judging Panel is a person designated to track your actions at Whole Foods and whether or not you EVER! — even if it was ONE FUCKING TIME — did NOT bring your own bag and if you did NOT? Well, just make sure you pack a fire retardant bathing suit because YOU my friend are going straight to HELL.
Paper or Lucifer?
Asshole Ursella of the Unforgiven