Monday Judgements and Warnings

As you may or may not know, the 2012 Co-Dependent Olympics is coming up at the end of the year, AFTER the Normal Olympics in London so just be aware that I, a Ninety Bazillion Time Co-Dependent Champion, will be entering the following events:

Spinning Catastrophic Storylines That Inevitably Circle Around To Proving Lack of Worth (undefeated)
Taking Traffic Personally (going for fifth consecutive title)
Misinterpreting Almost Every Expression Your Husband Has (ten time medalist)

I am a shoo in to dominate these competitions so you might want to put your focus on another event like Trying To Look Interested When Someone Is Talking While You’re Obsessing and Worrying About Something Else.

Let the Games Begin,
Petunia Prizewinner

14 Comments on "Monday Judgements and Warnings"

  1. I’m tops at Unable To Close Eyes And Peer Into Own Darkness, it scared me just to write it.

  2. The Mayor says:

    Cupcake Phelps. Take a bong hit, flap your wildly long, co-dependent arms and revel in your success.

  3. Catalyst says:

    I can’t wait for the Games!

  4. PJ says:

    Taking traffic personally? Piffle. I see your traffic and raise you weather. Weather is out to get me and I take it very personally.

  5. I get the silver medal for Misinterpreting.
    Husband: Why you giving me the look?
    Me: I’m giving YOU the look because I thought YOU were giving ME the look.

  6. Ok, this is funny, but it’s also crazily, intensely spot-on.

    I would definitely place in “Trying to Cajole Surly Cashiers into Better Moods.”

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      HA! So funny. I spit up with recognition when I read this. There is a guy at the corner supermarket who NO MATTER WHAT I DO will not smile. He and his shag carpet/dead weasel toupee haunt me.

  7. I will most definitely take the gold (or silver) in the 2012 Body Awareness Olympics’ new category: “Reverse Body Dysmorphia” – where you look in the mirror and think I LOOK FUCKING HOT and then you see a photograph of yourself and realize your arms resemble plump sausages and your ass is a very bad version of J-Lo’s.

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      High five. I had that experience recently when I posed for a photo and right before I saw my hair in a mirror and I thought “lookin’ gooooood” and when I saw the photo I looked like Billy Ray Cyrus.

  8. MidLyfeMama says:

    I have graduated to being a judge at the Co-Dependent Olympics.