Monday Judgements and Warnings

Let me preface this tsunami-esque admonition with the self-disclosure that I am NOT Diane Von Furstenburg or Coco Chanel when it comes to fashion…

BUT!

If you choose to wear a tadpole-ish polyester business suit that is the color of puke vanilla anguish and then you go the extra mile and you complete your ensemble with a pair of beige patent pumps that are coupled with nude hued pantyhose— I have to be honest with you and tell you that ALTHOUGH I AM YOUR SISTER ALONG THIS LONG CHALLENGING JOURNEY CALLED LIFE AND I WILL ALWAYS LOVE YOU AND TELL YOU “GO ON AND RAISE A RUCKUS AND MAKE US ALL PROUD” I will eventually have to tell you that your monochromatic outfit does not work on any level and then I would take it a step further (because I cheer you on always) and I would tell you that you look exactly like a centaur and you are making people uneasy because it appears as if have no feet.

True Love Hurts,
Lucinda Loyal

9 Comments on "Monday Judgements and Warnings"

  1. JaniceP says:

    Are monochromatic outfits OK if they’re black??

  2. The Zadge says:

    I’d like to leave a comment but the phrase “nude hued pantyhose” just sent me into a diagnosis-able case of PTSD.

  3. PJ says:

    You have left me deeply pondering how disturbed I would be should I see a centaur with no feet, and wondering if I should be proactive in protecting myself from such an experience.

    Puke vanilla anguish. Nice job. I am in awe.

  4. Remember white hose from the eighties? Stylin.

  5. PJ says:

    Tell me you weren’t looking in the mirror.

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      I was not. ACTUALLY! Maybe I was looking into the mirror of that part of my soul that reflects back every hideous thought I have.

  6. I wonder what you would think of my fur legwarmers and matching fur booty shorts.