Monday Judgements and Warnings

It’s quite fine that you venture out into your day, as a proud 50-60 year old gal, wearing saggy leggings and a lacy crop top—we’re all down with that—no big whoop really.

But your hairstyle choice of jet black pigtails is a little alarming—JUST A LITTLE. I mean, I’ve heard of Free To Be You and Me, I’m not stupid. But your particular pigtails look like a raccoon may have gnawed on the end of them while you were napping.

And, while we’re on the subject of tranquilizers, it seemed unfair to the rest of us that were in line behind you at Whole Foods, that you had to flash your mascara globbed eyes containing your pinpointed pupils toward us as you jiggled in all the wrong places to Walkin’ On Sunshine. Because none of us were dancing.

I think I can speak for all shoppers everywhere who has the misfortune of being near you in line that, overall, you’re very upsetting.

Must There Always Be a Kook?
Author of Nellie Needs Normal

5 Comments on "Monday Judgements and Warnings"

  1. claudia w says:

    There’s always a kook. And geez. What fun would there be if there wasn’t a kook???

  2. The Zadge says:

    We are NOT all down with the saggy leggings and lacy crop top. Some of us would use their powers right then and there to do a citizen’s arrest.

  3. Hulk Don't judge me says:

    Hey. I needed Cheerios, ok?

    And I can’t help it if that song makes me all happy inside…

  4. ROTFLMAO!!! That was even better than People of Walmart!