Oh hello. Are your thinking caps and gas masks on? Good, because what I’m about to tell you may save your life or reputation or lungs—it’s unclear which collapses first.
Here’s the Straight Up:
You lookin’ to go to a movie with yo girl o yo man.
You say to yo girl o yo man: let’s go get us some hummus and falafel and shaWARma.
You go and you git it.
You and yo girl or yo man eatin’ falafel and shaWARma in the Food Court.
It be lovin’.
Then you twaddle on ovah to the MULTIPLEX-UH-LEX-UH-SEXY and you take yo seats in the theater and you wait for the new James Bond movie. WHERE THE JUDY DENCH DOES THAT JUDY DENCH THING SHE DOES.
She so coooooooool.
Oh, but yo yo yo you be achin’ in yo tummy. Like some lil villain laid some falafel and shaWARma bombs in yo Judy Dench lovin’ belly and you be a bad ass all fartin’ and coverin’ and achin’ and moanin’ cuz yer stomach ain’t yer own, man and instead of watchin’ SKYFALL (Judy Dench be a TOUGH AND ELEGANT BEEOTCH!) you be watchin’:
Double O Stinky, OctoPlugYerNosey
Think Alot and Think Ahead,
Daniel Craig’s Bum