I am my father’s angry daughter and so sometimes I STILL think about Weapons of Mass Destruction and Dick Cheney and good ol’ George W Bush and I watch the latest documentaries and I sniff around on the latest websites that say the same thing over and over and over and over again that they always have:
THEY LIED FOR THEIR OWN GAIN
And I just wanted to remind you of this seeming MODERN DAY TRUTH when you attempt to return a never-worn fleecy sweater THE SAME DAY YOU BOUGHT IT back to PetCo without a weapons of mass destruction asshole poopface receipt.
The World Works To Undermine Your Footing,
Cecelia Cement Shoes
Imagine how I feel living in the midst of it all.
Signed, Susie Who Will Never Order Sweet Tea
And here I was buying all of my sweaters at JCrew.
I once tried to return something (after carefully repackaging it) that I overpaid for and which didn’t work, and the pimplefaced kid said the sale had been final. I thanked him politely, walked out of the store, then proceeded to remove it from the packaging, and smash it, piece by piece to the sidewalk just outside the store, while prospective customers watched in stunned silence.
It felt good.