Monday Judgements and Warnings

Things You Can’t Do:

1. Wear an ornate Christmas sweater in March
2. Criticize Van Morrison
3. Do the group OM in yoga class like you’re singing an operatic aria
4. Say that being on “Naked and Afraid” would be easy
5. Tug on my ears without my permission when I tell you I have a headache

5 Comments on "Monday Judgements and Warnings"

  1. PJ says:

    You’re also not allowed to dislike the beach.

    #s 1,3,5 made me laugh. Do people really tug on your ears or was that one from Cooper?

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      SERIOUS: I told someone I had a small headache and they grabbed both my ears and pulled on them, advising that this would get the oxygen flowing. Um, NO.

      • midlyfemama says:

        Oh it gets the oxygen flowing, as the fires of Hades burst forth from my nostrils because someone TOUCHED MY EARS who was not doing so under the auspices of being any of the following: A professional masseuse to whom I have submitted myself to; a chiropractor I have deemed worthy of practicing on me; ditto for a physical therapist; my hairdresser; a medical professional checking for an ear infection. If you are not one of these people, you cannot touch my ears. Or any part of my face/head area without express permission.

  2. Numbers 2 and 3 are wisdomatical! (Louis Armstrong taught me that word.)