Monday Judgements and Warnings

As you may or may not know, I have been involved in the scientific research having to do with Why Olive Garden Restaurants Are So Scary and, after months of research involving a pack of golden retrievers, flying drones and people connected to Stephen J. Hawking, I am ready to reveal my findings regarding the terrifying aspects of this supposed family friendly eatery.

Why Olive Garden Restaurants Are So Scary:

1. Salad croutons from Planet of the Apes.
2. Ordering tomato cream penne pasta special requires texting local emergency room because: cream, arteries.
3. Bread, bread, more bread, bread sticks, bread rolls, bread with butter, bread with bread and more bread with more butter.
4. Plastic vegetables.
5. Bustling atmosphere shrouds fact that all dishes = heavy cream.

3 Comments on "Monday Judgements and Warnings"

  1. midlyfemama says:

    I would like to ask your cracker jack science team to investigate why, no matter what time of the day, or what day of the week I drive by an Olive Garden, the parking lot is packed like the all you can eat salad and bread sticks deal also includes free scratch tickets.

  2. Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

    We’re working on the answer to that query and will keep you posted. We’ve found the same phenomenon at Marie Callender’s.

  3. midlyfemama says:

    There is a PLACE called Marie Callender’s??? I thought it was just a section of my frozen food aisle in the grocery store.