Monday Judgements and Warnings

Heads Up! To all you grammar/pronunciation/poopification police out there:

If you’re standing in line at the local grocery and the checker pronounces the rigid leafed vegetable endive as “En-Dive”, do us all a favor and don’t holler “It’s called “On-Deeve!” at the top of your rabid wolverine lungs like you’re Henry Higgins in My Fair Lady because it just makes the rest of us loathe you—not only because of your nosey parker ways but because it makes us all take notice of your tie-dyed fanny pack which, in all honesty, decreases your chances of garnering any and all respect from here on in until eternity.

Button It Up,
Sergeant Shush Now
134th Mind Your Own Beeswax Division

4 Comments on "Monday Judgements and Warnings"

  1. Catalyst says:

    Merci. (NOT pronounced Mercy.)

  2. PJ says:

    And I should imagine s/he is from De Twa, not Detroit.

  3. Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

    You both kill me (in a good weigh I mean way)

  4. Mary says:

    hahahahahaha