My Morning Walk

On my morning walk I passed that bright pink house that looks like Disneyland and it reminded me of that time when I was ten and my mom and sister and I got stuck in the middle of the Pirates of the Caribbean ride.  I remember it happened in the worst possible point it could have — in the middle of the water in between where the pirate ships are shooting cannons at each other—this is where our boat stalled and everyone started screaming and I remember feeling so scared that I thought I was going to die and as we escaped our lifeless boat and sloshed through the pirate water that I imagined was filled with pirate urine I had the fleeting thought that instead of calling Disneyland The Happiest Place on Earth they should call it The Biggest Fucking Nightmare You’ll Ever Endure.

I swear to Dumbo I don’t know how I made it through that without pooping my pants.

The Drowners

4 Comments on "My Morning Walk"

  1. I cried at Disney when I was 47.

  2. Cupcake Murphy says:

    I saw Cary Grant there once.

  3. The Farmer says:

    Only you would suspect (and I assume correctly) at such a young age that the pirate water was filled with pirate urine. Not to mention other pirate bodily fluids.

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      There must be a God because I never thought outside the pirate pee-pee box. Thinking of additional fluids would surely have done me in.