Things I Don’t Understand, Items 773 thru 775

773. Water beds
774. Chaps as a fashion statement
775. Finger foods that require a knife and fork

Cooper Being Mick Jagger

MickJ“When I said I can’t get no satisfaction, what I really meant to say was that I have gotten an inordinate amount of satisfaction,” the wildly successful rock star says.

Monday Judgements and Warnings

VERY SIMPLE: NO HONKING AT THE DRIVE-THRU.

You’re under arrest,
Lieutenant Loon Identifier
Freak Patrol

Sunday Secret

fearlessI’ve always liked to think that there are innumerable categories for being fearless. The fearlessness of being by the side of a loved one who is dying. The fearlessness of holding your tongue when you know what you will say will cause falling domino damage. The fearlessness of making small talk when everything in your chest and belly wants to shut down and run. The fearlessness of saying no when you think you most certainly must say yes. The fearlessness of following that one brilliant thought to its fruition, knowing that once you arrive at its destination, things will be different.

I follow my fearlessness with a wavering certainty that keeps me lifting the weights of my own delusions. This, I tell myself, is the bravest thing of all. To do those things that I think are impossible to do. Be open, let go, not assume, release taking things personally—all of these things are the most seemingly simple yet, if I were to admit it, are the most daunting in my every day life.

I’ve worked hard and long to wrangle my fears and bury them until they are sleeping but I’ve come to the conclusion that, in the process of my convoluted battle, I am becoming immeasurably brave.

Yours In Slaying Demons,
Captainette Courageous

Saturday SlobberLove

onelasttrySometimes on Saturday, after our mother has been reunited with her computer for the first time in a week, we like to keep our distance just a bit while she swoons and weeps over the machine that seems to bring her such joy. And as we watch her face light up like the Empire State Building at Christmas we realize that we have that much more in common with her than we thought because when we zero in on her mile-wide smile she reminds us of our expression when we are about to devour a Greenie.

Who Says the Best Things In Life Aren’t Things?
Marvin the Materialistic Man Dog