Things I Don’t Understand, Items 930 thru 932

930. How Ken Burns kind of looks like he’s a toddler and an old man all at the same time
931. When people put smiley faces over i’s
932. Pez

Cooper Being Jabba the Hut in Star Wars

JabbaRegardless of his girth, the infamous gangster asks for more treats in between scenes.

Things I Like More Than Having a Bernie Supporter Tell Me That Bernie Is Going To Be President Because He Was “Sent From On High”

1. Bunions
2. Fruit flies
3. Having something go down the wrong pipe while dining at an intimate restaurant
4. Getting stuck in an elevator
5. Losing my luggage

Saturday SlobberLove

stinkeyeSometimes on Saturday, after a failed attempt at getting our little brother to shut up by attacking him, we like to remove ourselves from the situation and wait for our mother to join us in our silent protest until she gives us the opportunity to share our grievances.

Half-Heartedly Yours,
Ricardo Resentment

Things I Don’t Understand, Items 927 thru 929

927. People addicted to using ellipses
928. Personalized license plates
929. Why no one can agree on how to pronounce endive