Things I Don’t Understand, Items 803 thru 805

803. Futbol floppers
804. The way dogs react to their own flatulence
805. How steadfast underwear are when it comes to hiding inside t-shirts in the dryer

Cooper Being Margot Kidder in The Amityville Horror

amity“FOR GOD SAKE, GET OUT!!!” the actress yells to her co-star James Brolin, who seems to be eternally embroiled at the Craft Services table.

Things I Like More Than Hobby Lobby

1. Mulch up my butt
2. Being the goalie for Brazil in the game against Germany
3. Knitting needles plunged into my pupils every morning
4. Parachuting with an “antique” parachute
5. Nails in my eardrums

Saturday SlobberLove

praySometimes on Saturday, after barely enduring the previous night’s 4th of July horrors, we like to garner solace from our beloved Orangey as we try to wipe the terrifying kabooms, kerplops and kabloweys from our weary little mind.

I Surrender,
Warren the Wiped-Out Warrior

Things I Don’t Understand, Items 800 thru 802

800. Why drunk people and explosives exemplify America’s independence
801. The extreme difference in difficulty when it comes to doing a cartwheel as an adult as compared to doing one as a child
802. How the smell of burnt toast permeates an entire neighborhood