1. Do you ever stop talking?
2. Say someone has $6.50 left over after paying their bills for the month—do you recommend that that person slide that $6.50 on over into an IRA or do you advise that person to use the $6.50 to buy butter?
3. In the middle of the night, when you are sleeping, are you NOT talking then?
4. When you are cooking up malarkey ways to order people around about what to do with their money do you ever think “What the hell am I talking about?”….?
5. When you and Oprah are planning what latest piece of wisdom you are going to pull out of your ass on her show, does she ever call you Soozinator?
6. Do you have batteries in your eyes and this is why you look sort of glowy, in a she-gonna-go-postal way?
Let me know,
Marty the Janitor