Sunday Prayer

Of my finer qualities, the most humdingerish of them all is my ability to cover myself from head to toe in my own prickly, sharp, unapproachable anger while at the same time demanding love, safety and tenderness—as I rail against all of it, expecting it to come closer. As I judge and fume and lose control, wishing for safe connection.

How many years have I worked on letting go and softening and opening? I submit this request every day.

I know that my wish for myself goes up and out into the air and it gets heard by all the other Angry Nice People because they understand my difficulty, in moments, of just being who I am without all the hullabaloo, all the rancor and they know that this is what has kept me safe and they will tell me that on this deciphering journey that, even if I so often choose the wrong road on my way to mapless hope, I must/need/should keep moving forward toward that gorgeous place where there are long, open moments of calm.

Yours In Counting To Ten-ish,
Susie Simmering

8 Comments on "Sunday Prayer"

  1. Dear Susie Simmering,

    I love that you “submit this request every day.” I have to wonder–selfishly, I admit: if it is ever granted, will you still write so poetically about sometimes choosing “the wrong road on [your] way to mapless hope”? That is, I agree, a sorrowful state of being, but a mighty fine turn of phrase.

    Your Sister-Traveler on a Parallel Journey,
    Another Angry Nice Person

  2. Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

    Dear AANP: There are days, after I’ve submitted my request in the morning, that I find myself submitting nine hundred more requests later that day HOWEVER I can safely say that this is not the norm. As I age I mellow and as I mellow I let go a LOT more and that’s been the ticket for me. I only know that all my circusy anger has been there to cover up some cavernous pain so even if the days when I forget my headlamp can be a little stupid I just remember that what I’m railing against isn’t as large as my desire to soften. So I keep spelunking! Thank you as always for your kindred comments and questions. I love your poems.

  3. The Zadge says:

    P.S. I LOVE that photo.

    P.P.S. Your damn blog just scolded me for posting comments too fast. Bitch told me to “slow down.”

    • Cupcake Murphy says:

      Please accept our/its/her/his/their deepest apologies. If I had my way there’d be no speed bump whatsoever on commenting. It’d be, like, comment away muthahEffah!

  4. Dear Susie, allow me to strap my headlamp on and join you. I have to agree that age has allowed me peace about the wrong ways on that bumpy road.

  5. linlah says:

    I like to think when all the Angry Nice peoples words bump into each other in the air they sit down for a tea on a bench and talk it out or at least i hope they do.