Sunday Prayer

Dear Holy Creator,

Look, I know you’re as busy as a Dancing With the Stars paramedic but if you could please try to help me make my way along my little winding path with the least amount of self-loathing as possible I would be eternally grateful. Like, if you could make sure that I hang on to a modicum of belief in myself and that I am able to muster up the nerve to say No Thank You I’m Busy Right Now AND MEAN IT to telemarketers that would be incredible and also if you could make sure I stop any nervous laughter especially if the person I feel compelled to laugh along with is a bully that would be fantabulous but just say you’re way too damn busy to help me with any of the previously mentioned Must-Haves— is it at all possible that you could just focus on making 100% sure that I know THAT I MATTER because I think I’ve finally gotten a lot of it figured out and I’ve come to know that it all boils down to having the feeling of mattering from the inside out that makes for a sturdy life and Oh! also doing everything within my power to not end up like any of those housewives from New Jersey but you already knew that ya big brainiac, thank you dear lord and savior I hope we have a class together next semester, amen.

Have a Bitchen Summer,
Doris Determined

5 Comments on "Sunday Prayer"

  1. PJ says:

    Oh! Oh! I hope I get that class. Bitchin with the Brainiacs 202.

  2. I’ve had great success believing that I matter after writing it two hundred times.

  3. PS – Dear God, please also strike me down with lightning – just a little shock or something like that – if my eye makeup ever looks like Teresa’s from RHWNJ and please just strike me down with a huge wart right on my nose if my children ever behave like hers as well. Thank you very much.