Sunday Prayer

Dear God,

I am fully aware that you’re as freaked out and busy as the person in charge of keeping Giada De Laurentiis’s Bengal Tiger incisors in check but could you possibly arrange it so I MIGHT POSSIBLY MAYBE know and accept myself before I am One Hundred and Fifty Years Old?

Although I do not keep in touch as much as I should, somehow, I know that you will do your best in order to make this happen for me. (pssst: like, for example, the fact that I don’t believe in you totally at all will not prevent you from giving me Hope and Guidance.)

Sound good? Great! Because, I’m over here in my corner doing my level best—going to therapy, writing in my journal like a nice really nice version of Edna St. Vincent Millay, surrounding myself with sweet meaningful talismans, forgiving everyone I fucking hate because they’re fucking assface hate worthy, letting go of all that would otherwise drag me into the undertow, writing and yelling my heart out into the universe to see if it boomerangs back, refraining from leaping into the wormhole that is my wounded heart, helping every single last person that comes into my orbit naturally because I understand their feeling of awfulness and MOSTLY standing up for the (glorious) evolution of myself, regardless (and especially because of) who and what I lose and find along the way.

Thank You In Advance For Your Understanding,
Detective Myrna Mental
Reflective Thought Division

19 Comments on "Sunday Prayer"

  1. The Zadge says:

    Giada’s bicuspids are just as terrifying as the front part of her over-exposed grill.

  2. The Farmer says:

    Boomerangin back at ya Myrna

  3. Catalyst says:

    As Mario Batali has said “Giada has a nice rack.”

    If one must pray, this one is a spanking good one!

  4. I bandy about the word God a lot. Surely there is some mystery spirit guiding boomerangs back; I’m sending one to you.

  5. PJ says:

    …the wormhole that is my wounded heart…

    How I wish I could paint that. Seriously.

  6. MidLyfeMama says:

    What is it they say…It doesn’t matter if you believe in God, He believes in you…or She. Or They. Something like that. We have your back in any event.

    • Cupcake Murphy says:

      It’s so odd. I attribute so many of my views about the world to my Dad who was the most spiritual atheist turned agnostic I had ever known. When I write about how I feel about god or no god or some god I always think of him and miss his feisty spirit that eventually turned into Pure Support of whatever I was feeling. It’s so miraculous to find the sweet replies I get here when I write what I want to instead of what I think others want to or need to hear. GRASSY ASS all you lovely people. My dad would thank you for being nice to me if he were here. He’d also offer to take you out for dinner or give you a ride to the airport.

  7. I threw out all my meaningful talismans back in 1998. I bet you anything you purchased some of them at the Goodwill.

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      SO funny you say that. I saw someone wearing a shirt I gave to Salvation Army and I was all “ohhhh, that shirt was cute”

  8. I did, however, keep my Motherpeace Tarot cards. Sometimes they help me decide whether to buy leaded or unleaded.

  9. Is that Buddha Butterworth?