Sunday Secret

tranquilAll my life I’ve chased tranquility. Whether it’s been that feeling of well-being when I first open my eyes in the morning or the knowingness that, regardless of my worrying monkey mind, I know that it will all work out fine.

I can’t imagine finding my way to peaceful without getting my hands dirty in drama and unrest. I’ve studied anxiety and I’ve been a student of What If? until my heart bled and because of that I can finally say I am in the same territory where restful days and nights reside.

To work, with the goal of not working, is an interesting process. But I get it now, I think. Stillness even if there is restlessness. No acting out from a place of rage or high-on-my-horse defensiveness. Whittling away at that place in my stomach that takes all things personally. It’s all added up to this bumpy road that I’ve followed toward knowing what calms me and now, when I remember how I used to be drawn to all that detoured myself away from myself, I feel a grateful sigh of relief when I notice that my heart, in its deepest compartments, only wants to be calm.

You Can Relax Now, It’s Recess,
Instructor Introspection

5 Comments on "Sunday Secret"

  1. PJ says:

    Blessings, dear Cupcake.

  2. midlyfemama says:

    Because of my ankle I have not been to the woods in WEEKS. I need to rectify this because it is a place where stillness resides, where peace just IS. Nature can be a very busy place, a dirty and sometimes deadly place, but it is still peaceful and the stillness always comes back. That is what I try to keep in my soul, that return to peace and stillness, regardless of what the world throws at me. Where I can hear myself breathe.

  3. I’m settling in for recess today after a jangly nerve kind of week that involved mean girls over 50 years old. Oh yeah.