Sunday Secret

On certain evenings
When there is less noise than usual
I sit on the porch like he used to
And pretend that I am him

I reach for his fine, wise, unfussiness
I reach for the way he wound down his day
How he welcomed dusk like a holy visitor
How he prepared for evening as if it were art

More than anything I miss him, though
In an airy, unbearable, large, empty, tidal way
In a way that I don’t look forward to

So I light my glowy candle
And I applaud the indigo blue light of the sky
And I remember—
I piece myself together and I remember
How often he told me
To make sure to notice
All those wonderful things that reflect the endlessness
Of the irrefutable evidence
That I am good.

15 Comments on "Sunday Secret"

  1. PJ says:

    My soul is lovelier for having breathed in this offering to beauty, wisdom and goodness. You could not have made this offering if they did not reside deeply within you.

  2. Ah! You DID write that poem! It’s heartbreaking and gorgeous. And GOOD. Like YOU. <3

  3. LOVE. Prepare the evening like art; my new favorite quote.

    • Cupcake Murphy says:

      He’d always wear a button down shirt and trousers and as he poured his Charles Shaw Cabernet he’d talk about what an jackass Karl Rove was. Art.

  4. My dad used to force us to come up from the lazy splendor of the basement and look at the sunset.

  5. The Zadge says:

    Written like a poetic chanteuse.

  6. Penne says:

    This is the best thing I’ve read in a long time. In a world filled with Twilight and Fifty Shades and The Notebook, it makes my heart glad to know that there are still people who use words to emote, who speak them slowly and carefully, who use them judiciously and perfectly, wasting not a single syllable and leaving me wanting more.

    That said, can you cross-stitch this bitch up so I can hang it on my porch?

    • Cupcake Murphy says:

      Comin’ right up! I don’t have any yarn and I have no idea how to cross-stitch (and am not EXACTLY sure what it is) but as god is my witness I will fulfill your order.