The celebrity Cupcake thinks she is most unlike

This is not CupcakeIf I had to choose one celebrity that appears to be the MOST unlike me in every way imaginable I think that celebrity would be Matthew McConaughey.

I’m not talking about the obvious differences like gender and the fact that he takes long jogs with his dog OFF leash and he goes to get his mail wearing his karate bathrobe—those are pretty obvious and clear. I’m talking about overall beingness.

Like, I would never in a million years—even if you gave me a hundred dollar gift certificate to Trader Joe’s—get really high and run around my house in the nude playing the bongos. It would just NEVER occur to me to do this.

And I would never go barefoot as much as Matthew does and I would never be able to sustain that slurry-Hey Sexy Lady-speech thing he does that telegraphs: CONSTANTLY NUDE AND CONFIDENT EVEN WHEN I’M NOT PLAYING BONGOS, HIGH.

Also, I think Matthew may not understand complex language and, not to toot my own horn but I have always prided myself on my rotund vocabulary however when I saw Matthew on Larry King once with Sanjay Gupta I am certain that Matthew got confused when Larry and Sanjay used big words like “suspenders” or “okay” and when this happened Matthew switched the subject real fast to his clothing line jk livin (difference #45 I’d never have a clothing line but just say I was forced to I would never use ALL lower case letters for the brand name) and then he recommended to Larry that he improve his posture by dancing around the house nude while chanting The Number One Rule of jk livin: HEY PRETTY LADY.

Well, that may not be a rule but jk livin and Matthew are not about rules, man, and that just might be the biggest difference between him and me.

What celebrity are YOU most unlike?  I think Mister Cupcake has very little in common with Geraldo Rivera but if pressed I would have to say the celebrity he is most unlike is Khloe Kardashian.

13 Comments on "The celebrity Cupcake thinks she is most unlike"

  1. Patty says:

    The celebrity I am most unlike is Perry King.

  2. Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

    Actually P, two consonants in a row and a Y in your first names. BUT THAT’S IT.

  3. LT says:

    I’m going with Howie Long or probably any big-necked NFL person

  4. I would have to say that I am most unlike Angelina Jolie. I’m not tall, I’m not rail-thin, I don’t have big dick-sucker lips, and quite frankly I like having girlfriends to talk to. Which I imagine she doesn’t have many of.
    At least she has the lips.

  5. The Farmer says:

    testing 123

  6. Patty says:

    I’m very different from Parick Duffy.

  7. Catalyst says:

    Paul Newman. (Before he died.)

    Well, I do have blue eyes.

    I mean, kinda.


    But not Paul Newman’s.

    Or Betty Davis’s.

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