As most of you know I am a relentless and cheerful (mostly) scientist who works tirelessly with a team of specialists who happen to own the most effective Bunsen Burner around and, after years of research, we have finally cracked the code regarding WHAT TO DO IF YOU STEP IN DOG POOP:
1. Stare at the bottom of your shoe and go “No No. No!! No OH NO OH NO No!”
2. Consult the nearest clergyman
3. Stuff yourself inside your washing machine
4. Legally change your name to Mr/Mrs Stinky Von Stinkerson
5. Break open your Roth IRA and hire the Dog Poop Whisperer
Godspeed Pilgrims,
Wendy What the Hell Is That Smell?
This is a shitty post.
ba ha ha ha ha. zadge so funny.
You know I’m just pulling your leg and am full of shit, right?
No poo-poo.
Rip off offending shoe and throw away. Cut off said foot.
Stepping in dog sh*t isn’t really a big deal until you track it across the carpet.
Twisted Susan, and then after you walk across the carpet continue down the hall and into the bedroom where you first notice it because you have a white carpet in the bedroom, but you cannot see where you have tracked it across 3 other rooms because they have Oriental carpets so you have to have the whole damn house steam cleaned. Shit!
Actually, I have the system. I have a place outside to wedge said shoe. Stand back several feet and BLAST bottom of shoe with powerful hose. Then use toothpick to pick out last bits and blast again. Curse like a blogger while doing so.
After step one I go to step two – remove shoes and throw them away.
Do I sense a How-To book brewing?
We might need to embrace a few other how to topics to fill it out.
I wear special dog walking shoes (Merrill hiking) to avoid sh*t tracked in the house. Conveniently rinse off outside.
I hate dog poo. Sloan, at age three, takes extra care to keep her eye out for bombs, but Beatty just plows right over that shit. Literally.
So then the shoe sits outside the back door for at least a month. Because the husband thinks that just wiping it off on the grass works.
WHICH IS WRONG.