The Snazzpants Report

You wanna know how Snazzy I am?  I am so Snazzy that I invented my own game called See How Far I Can Get From the Car and Still Have the Automatic Lock Thing Work.  And it is SO FUN. It’s a Snazzpants Blast.

It’s like JUST HOW FAR can I get?  Can I lock the car when I’m in the shower?  That would be Fresh Water Pearls Snazz-o-fancy.

This morning I got all the way down the block and it still worked.  My car chirped at me from half a mile away and I thought Well done, Snazzpants.  Well done.

Snazzpants Rule #1:  Rustle Up Your Own Merry (if you want to)

Over and Out,
Correspondent Cupcake

8 Comments on "The Snazzpants Report"

  1. The Farmer says:

    You know how I rustle up my own merry with a key fob? I keep hitting the beep beep from far away (I like to hide behind a dense bush) while someone is standing next to my car. Watch them jump and look really confused and all “I didn’t touch it”.

  2. The Farmer says:

    One more thing. Well two. SO GREEN! And what are those nasty-ass trees?

  3. Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

    Those are called Ratty Hobo Trees. Aren’t they fabulous?

  4. The husband’s big thumbs would gently graze the red button on the key fob thing and set his car alarm off all the time.
    I would roar out of bed at 6am to shriek at him but he’d already be yelling at me to shut up.
    I solved this problem by winding electrical tape around the f*cking button.

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      You guys are like Men Are From Manwrong and Women Are From Venusright.
      p.s. If a woman makes a very good suggestion does a man automatically say it’s dumb?