The Snazzpants Report

Ok, hold on to your Snazzbelt because what I’m about to share with you just might change your definition of Snazz-a-matastic.

This is what happens:  I get my 80 gallon barn silo of lotion when Jimmy Carter was President and I use it and I use it and I use it.  And then, many decades later, after high waisted jeans are once again back in fashion, I think, Oh I guess I should go buy another small building of lotion in order to keep my skin soft and supple until the next Super Moon.

But then I become Saver Snazzinator and I upend my existing lotion container and I shake it violently every time I use it so that I am able to squeeze approximately twelve more years worth of moisturizer out of what seemed to be an empty vessel back when the buffalo roamed the prairies thereby disproving the old adage Nothing Lasts Forever and when I am able to do this I think Well done, Snazzpants, well done.

Snazzpants Rule #5: Stretch Your Happy.

It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over,
Eudora Endless

10 Comments on "The Snazzpants Report"

  1. claudia w says:

    What happens if they changed the formula oh so many years ago, and you need more? Just asking…

    • Cupcake Murphy says:

      Has not happened yet however I will keep you posted if it ever does and we’re both still alive.

  2. Sometimes I throw out brand new toiletries just because I don’t like how they smell.

    • Cupcake Murphy says:

      High five. If it smells like armpits it’s going in the trash. I’ve been more particular about my toiletry scents than I have been about some boyfriends.

  3. I once saved some sourdough starter in the back of the fridge, until it was 100 proof. I kid not.

    • Cupcake Murphy says:

      I’m a maniac about dumping old food but somehow I always have a bag of twelve year old frozen peas all corpsed out in the corner of the freezer.

  4. PJ says:

    Go, Snazz, And when you can’t get a glup more of that lotion, cut the barn silo bottle in half with one of those “you can cut a shoe in half” knives and you’ll get another week or month out of it.

    • Cupcake Murphy says:

      Now yer talkin’.

    • The Farmer says:

      We can put a man on the moon and manufacture all those things they show in How It’s Made, but they can’t invent a pump bottle that can manage to get the last 1/7 of the lotion out of the bottle. It’s a travesty.