Things I Don’t Understand, Items 438 thru 440

438. Las Vegas
439. Lime flavored candy
440. That thing that happens when you’re pouring chicken broth or almond milk from its tall rectangley container/box contraption and no matter what angle you hold it, it spurts and heaves and splashes and spills all over the damn place

6 Comments on "Things I Don’t Understand, Items 438 thru 440"

  1. After using a simple and elegant Chemex coffeemaker for decades, my father decided to yield to the 20th century and replace it with a little automatic machine. It burbled and burped and actually made a decent cup of coffee, but, no matter how you held the thing or how fast or slowly you poured, you always ended up with dribbles outside the cup. An engineer who believed in form follows function, my father tried every method of pouring, replaced the carafe twice, railed against the stupidity of bad design and finally banished the damn thing from the house.

  2. Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

    Those idiot dribbles!

  3. The Zadge says:

    Butter popcorn-flavored Jelly Bellys make me hurl.

  4. Every time I made a plane connection in Vegas, I was overcome with bewilderment.