Things I Don’t Understand, Items 456 thru 458

456. Bad pens
457. How bizarre it feels to go to a grocery store in a foreign neighborhood
458. The fact that my hair and I wage war against humidity even though every battle in our fifty year fight has left us looking like a hairless cat undergoing chemotherapy

11 Comments on "Things I Don’t Understand, Items 456 thru 458"

  1. PJ says:

    The strange grocery store thing? I know. I’m still traumatized because they moved a bunch of stuff around in MY store I’ve been going to for 15 years. You’d think somebody came in and moved my underwear drawer for all the carrying on I did.

  2. The Zadge says:

    #458. Why do you think I moved to Colorado? ZERO humidity. The Baby Goose struts down the streets proud and frizz free almost every day of the year.

  3. Bruce says:

    Mexican groceries in my town are fun! If I remember to go there.

  4. I get excited in any sort of ethnic grocery store and Chinatown dollar stores drive me wild.

  5. Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

    True foreign-ness is the Ralphs on Wilshire in Brentwood. Confooosink.

  6. MidLyfeMama says:

    I want to get all HULK SMASH when I realize that my store has rearranged. Maybe in some OTHER kind of store, where moving merchandise around means people will walk around and see new things they didn’t realize they needed and thus spend more money. But in a grocery store, that means more mindless, and soon ANGRY meandering. The grocery store is the land of the walking dead even on a good day. A bad day means I have managed to arrive at the very same time the shuttle from the retirement village has just deposited a dozen elderly people, complete with walkers, who shuffle so slowly they are possibly moving backwards, and who have not one tiny bit of remorse if they run you over in the dairy isle. So if you have also moved my produce around, and the tomatoes are now on the opposite side of the room from where they normally are, and I have made the turn I normally make in order to find the tomatoes, but NO TOMATOES, now I have to circle back and I get stuck behind a conga line of cranky barely can see over the cart ancients, I am unhappy with you, store. Really unhappy. JUST STOP IT.

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      Whenever they move the chardonnay-apple sausages at my Trader Joes I go postal.

  7. 458. Submit to the Brazilian blowout. Keeps my bangs from looking like I’m in fifth grade.