Things I Don’t Understand, Items 471 thru 473

471. When the morning newscasters say “UP NEXT! A NEVER-BEFORE-SEEN PICTURE OF MARILYN MONROE!” every other week or so
472. How much the water pitchers sweat at corporate seminars
473. The Jet Stream

10 Comments on "Things I Don’t Understand, Items 471 thru 473"

  1. The only thing worse then 471 is when Matt Lauer says “EXCLUSIVELY ON TODAY”. He irritates me.

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      Maybe I’m just too much of a thinker but sometimes I feel like Matt HATES everyone and is trapped there against his will. I also think he is mildly anorexic but you didn’t hear that from me.

  2. The Zadge says:

    Matt Lauer is a soothing bit of sea breeze compared to the The Most Irritating Woman On The Planet Ann Curry.

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      I’m actually concerned for Anne. She means well. She’s just so corny it is bizarre.

  3. Catalyst says:

    I can’t stand Brian Williams promoting some NBC program virtually every night on his newscast.

  4. PJ says:

    And just when did they name it The Jet Stream? Before jets? Did they already know it could cut an hour off a west to east flight?

  5. PJ says:

    From Merriam-Webster: a long narrow meandering current of high-speed winds near the tropopause blowing from a generally westerly direction…

    What I don’t understand:
    How can something be both high-speed AND meander?

    I mean, did you ever meander at high speed?

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      Are you a hard hitting journalist for 60 Minutes? I knew it. Your questions are searing. To answer your query regarding meandering at a high speed (which is a damn fine question may I just say) — the only time I’ve ever meandered at high speed is, like, at an IKEA sale or something OR when Mister Cupcake and I were on that river trip last year and I almost died of heat stroke. I meandered at the highest speed possible considering I felt faint.

  6. MidLyfeMama says:

    Poor Anne Curry. She really is misplaced as Matt’s sidekick. She was so much better suited to reading the news bits and going off to Nepal to bring back stories of yak milk and sorrow. Someone save her from this misery.