Things I Don’t Understand, Items 527 thru 529

527. Koala bear noses
528. Wind
529. That thing that happens when you’re falling asleep and you jerk awake like someone has applied electric paddles directly to your heart

13 Comments on "Things I Don’t Understand, Items 527 thru 529"

  1. The Farmer says:

    Was just trying to explain wind to Fin last week. Tricky shit.

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      My father and I used to have two hour conversations about wind. Generally we were opposed to it.

  2. The Farmer says:

    I have found that #529 (OMG I can’t believe you are up to #529) is even more jarring when you are napping in broad daylight.

  3. claudia w says:

    I hate that feeling of # 529!

  4. The Zadge says:

    #529 is particularly bad when accompanied by the falling-off-grab-the-sides-of-couch feeling.

  5. The Bug says:

    Oh #529 is evil! What amazes me is that my husband apparently doesn’t notice, even though I feel like I must have shaken the whole house when I jerked awake.

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      I hear ya. One of the elemental characteristics of a #529 is that you are totally alone in it. You’re all startled and confused and HUH?! and gurglingly helpless in all your lonesome patheticness. SO YOU GOT THAT GOIN FOR YA!

  6. #529. Someone is pulling the blankets off of me. Holy scaredy cat!

  7. Catalyst says:

    Yup. Me too with that #529. It almost brings on a headache. Especially if it bangs my head against the wall. Maybe I should move the bed.

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      It’s almost like it is THE MANIFESTATION of your heart’s headache come to life. But what do I know?