Things I Don’t Understand, Items 584 thru 586

584. Reptiles as pets
585. Frankincense
586. When the checker at the grocery store goes “Did you find everything you were looking for?” and you go “Yes” even though you just spent five million fruitless hours looking for Panko Crumbs as if you were an impaired camel traversing the Gobi Desert

4 Comments on "Things I Don’t Understand, Items 584 thru 586"

  1. 584: Yes!
    585: Uh, yeah.
    586: Oh, yesssss!

  2. Cupcake – I have this essential oil – Frankincense (from Oman!) – and it is supposed to be very precious and very useful. Like for just about anything…cleaning minor cuts and sores, calming stress and headaches (used topically), supporting immune function (by rubbing on bottom of feet), lifting mood and awareness, and adding to facial moisturizer for radiant skin.

    My guess is that the Wise Men brought it to Mary after the birth of Jesus to help out her va-jay-jay. Since she was a virgin and all she probably needed it.

  3. The Zadge says:

    Number 586 drives me insane. They do it EVERYWHERE now – Whole Foods, Safeway, 7-11. WTF? What are they going to do if you say, “No, mutha fucka, I didn’t.”

  4. MidLyfeMama says:

    Well, I guess since you found the Panko crumbs, you DID find everything you were looking for. The better question to ask would be “Did we make it almost impossible for you to find everything you were looking for”…