Things I Don’t Understand, Items 614 thru 616

614. Leather pants on men over 60
615. That thing that happens when you try to open one of those sheer plastic bags in the produce section and it doesn’t open and you try the opposite side and it is sealed shut and you try again on the side you just tried to open and it is as if glue is holding it together and you’re rubbing it together as if your life depended upon it and then you just decide to not get green beans
616. What “SALAMAND LEFT!” meant during fourth grade square dancing

9 Comments on "Things I Don’t Understand, Items 614 thru 616"

  1. The Zadge says:

    614….on men of ANY age.

  2. PJ says:

    #615 Everyone was watching you and thinking you were an idiot. I’ve been watched and thought of that way. I just know it.

    #614 They DO that? That must be California.

  3. klcrab says:

    #616. a command in square dancing that tells the group to change directions… you had been going Allemande left before that :)

  4. steve says:

    #614: Unless your name is Jim Morrison or Jimi Hendrix, NO men of ANY age should wear leather pants. Women look great in them, though.

  5. MidLyfeMama says:

    There is SO MUCH THAT IS RIGHT with these items. I cannot think of men wearing leather pants without remembering how hard I laughed at the Friends episode where Ross wears them to the home of someone he likes, only to get so hot and sweaty in them he tries to take them off in the bathroom, but cannot, because leather and sweat make for suction, and then there is baby powder involved and he gets them off but cannot get them back on and OMG I just figured out where my kid got the gene for laughing at physical comedy.

    Salamande left made me laugh out loud in my office just now.