Things I Don’t Understand, Items 634 thru 636

634. Why Penn Jillette has to be five million times weirder than he needs to be
635. Ladies in tennis outfits buying bison at Whole Foods
636. When you wake up and you think “Yay it’s Saturday!” and then you realize “Oh no it’s Monday” but then, after a couple seconds you realize it’s just a stupid ol’ Thursday

19 Comments on "Things I Don’t Understand, Items 634 thru 636"

  1. The Zadge says:

    #635. And do girls wear pants anymore or has Lululemon taken over the entire What-I-Wear-When-I’m-Not-Working market? And yes, I’m guilty of it too.

  2. midlyfemama says:

    PENN JILLETTE. What is UP with that guy? It is one thing to be into magic. It is one thing to be into sado-masochistic sex stuff and have sex rooms in your bizarre house in Las Vegas. It is another thing to be both of those things at the same time. But it is a whole different level of weird to name your daughter Moxie Crimefighter. You have asked the BIG question of the day.

  3. OK. Freaking LuluLemon.
    I’m kind of guilty of wearing stuff like this. I blame it on the fact that I have to teach a class at my studio and then I’M OFF AND RUNNING AND DON’T HAVE TIME FOR DEODORANT. But the two pair I own that I would wear into like a STORE aren’t the tight-as-hell kind where you can see my ass dimples.
    (Not the good kind of ass dimples, mind you.)
    And the tops.
    I have to say I just went to that effing store last week and bought THREE new tops because I wear the same four tops each week and everyone is probably sick of seeing them. AND they were half price so I felt in a small way I was BUCKING the Lulu-eatmypaycheck-system. Plus, they make my boobs look good.
    But I DO want to kill every cheery size two salesclerk in that damn store by stuffing a box of Hostess donuts down their gullet.

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      Where did I hear that Lululemon was a cult and all the people who worked there had to think the same or they’d be thrown down the toilet?

  4. …and just to add more to this meaningless suburban mom workout clothing rant, I have to say that the three Lulu tops I own I’ve had for over three years. They still look great. And I am very naughty and a rule-breaker and put them in the dryer and everything.
    Such a rebel.

  5. Now that I’ve just read all of what I wrote, I feel that company should send me some free shit. FO REAL.

  6. Or maybe Hostess should send me some free donuts??