Things I’d Rather Do Than Be In a Shark Tank

1. Measure Rush Limbaugh for a speedo
2. Climb Mount Everest while drunk
3. Type a novel about the history of everything that ever existed using the tip of my nose
4. Earn a living as a champion porcupine wrestler
5. Wear only clothing that I’ve been forced to macrame while at gunpoint

8 Comments on "Things I’d Rather Do Than Be In a Shark Tank"

  1. The Zadge says:

    Your brain is the most creative thing I’ve ever met. And number one made me vomit a bit in my mouth.

  2. oh, dear # 1 made me nauseous.

  3. Where Cupcake has to measure for #1 would take mere seconds.

  4. Catalyst says:

    #1 seems to be the least favorite. Mine too.

  5. MidLyfeMama says:

    You would rather measure Rush than be in a shark tank. I find that one pretty much a lose/lose proposition. Unless I can measure him IN the shark tank. Then I feel the risk is worth the potential reward since he would certainly be perceived as a tastier, slower and more easily chewed upon morsel than I.

    • Cupcake Murphy says:

      YES! RUSH. NO SHARK TANK. There I said it. I’d rather touch Limbaugh’s man marbles than be in a shark tank. I could plug my nose. I could blindfold myself. I could have my earphones in and be listening to Pema Chodron.

  6. Macrame? Someone is showing their age.