Tuesday Expert Advice

Dear Cupcake,

The other day, after a particularly horrific run-in with the neighborhood bully that left me feeling slightly dis-empowered and shat upon, I started to feel nostalgic for those old Tampax commercials that showcased cra-za–ZA-zy adventure women in all their glory—water skiing!, running while grinning!, playing beach volleyball without restraint or worry!, going to the store in white pants WHILE they had their period!—and I was wondering, do you know what happened to these Ladies Do Stuff commercials? Did the image of a bunch of spunky short shorties running all over the place just get tiring or did the ancient souls of trod upon women rise up and sprinkle their Shitkicker Fairy Dust across the networks in order to get that unrealistic This Is Not the Point crap off the air?
—Severely Sentimental in Smyrna

Dear Sentimental,
Good luck,

6 Comments on "Tuesday Expert Advice"

  1. PJ says:

    Running while grinning. Brilliant. I’ll laugh all day.

  2. Bossy Betty says:

    I just liked it when they wore high heels while doing all those things.

  3. While I was in Texas, a desperate 20 something asked me for a tampon. I replied “thanks for thinking I could possibly still be using them”. Felt like the fountain of youth leaving the restroom.

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      It’s like when you’re single. You want to NOT be single SO BAD. And you can’t picture being coupled. And then you’re coupled and you CANNOT FOR THE LIFE OF YOU remember what it was like being single and you have these secret waves of longing to be single and you don’t even know why. I’ll tell ya one thing though, I STILL have tampons under my sink MuthahFuckah. Life is just a big PerplexFest, is it not?

  4. Howling Robin says:

    Where can I get some of that Shitkicker Fairy Dust? Personally, I think we should all receive a big ole pile of it on our 50th birthdays. Love you Cupcake!

    • Cupcake Murphy Cupcake Murphy says:

      Hi Howling Robin. I love your name. I AGREE 150% — we should get a HUGE FedEx Special Delivery of Shitkicker Fairy Dust when we turn 50. Because, you know, we’re gonna need it. But we’ll be fine. I think.