Tuesday Expert Advice

Dear Cupcake,

Last evening, as I was preparing a delectable meal for my man, my husband, my betrothed, I gracefully sprinkled some freshly cracked black pepper into the pot using my clean chef fingers the way Ina Garten would and then without thinking I itched my honker and WOOOOOO LORDY can I tell you a crazed horror fell over my cozy little homestead as I spent the next twenty minutes crying out in pain as if someone had stuck dynamite up my schnoz. You might be wondering why I’m telling you this upsetting tale of awful. Well, in the middle of my writhing and sobbing my husband did not so much as react as begin a one way debate about the fact that nothing hurts more than getting sunscreen in your eyes so I thought I’d ask you which was more tormenting—pepper up your sniff machine or sunscreen in your peepers?
—Nose On Fire In Norfolk

Dear Nose,
No.
Good luck,
Cupcake

6 Comments on "Tuesday Expert Advice"

  1. MidLyfeMama says:

    That is a hard call, but I think pepper up the schnoz wins for full on pain.

  2. PJ says:

    If we could put rubbing your eyes after chopping a jalapeno in the running I know for which I would vote. But the other two? Dunno.

  3. Patty says:

    I vote for rubbing your eyes after touching jalapeno peppers while in the supermarket. I almost called 911 on my cell phone. Instead, the produce guy helped me through the ordeal.