This afternoon I was behind a big white Post Office Truck that, as I looked at it hobbling along in front of me, made me kind of dizzy because it was listing to the right by about five feet like a small boat about to capsize. Still, it moved forward and did its best to hold its own amidst the cut throat sports cars and SUVs. People honked at it. Drivers gave it dirty looks and then gunned their engines as if to say “Take THAT Ya Big Galumphing Loser” and since I was behind this…this…turtle-ish rectangle tin can on wheels I saw the whole scenario play out and decided to scoot along with it, keeping its molasses pace. And just when I noticed an angry group of motorcycles getting ready to overtake the vulnerable truck I glanced down and saw on its bottom right bumper a very large sticker with the words PAY YOUR BILLS BY MAIL! written on it and I was wondering Cupcake—do you think this Post Office Truck was THE ACTUAL LAST MOHICAN or do you think it was just someone who decided to drive through the city to see if they could get killed?
—Still Going “What the fuck?” in Fullerton
Dear What the Fuck?